kowtow kronikles: know all men by these presents

from Kowtow’s debut, Stringing Along the Dreamline, a dispatch for our times…

dreamline_cropKnow All Men By These Presents

Here…chew on this for awhile
You wanna read these words like dollar signs
if you’re gonna get somewhere in this life
You can hit the jackpot as a professional crackpot with a license
You can rewrite the law as a hired hack
now that you’ve tapped into the national data bank
You can tell the world to go to hell
just as long as we the people pay your bills
Know all men by these presents
It’s the price you pay for the gift of life

I can walk you home safely for a fee
or escort you to a money machine
I can help you across this busy street
You know boy scouts they don’t grow on trees
Insurance is the national bitch
when the way of the world is hit and run
but you can drive yourself into a ditch
trying to pay for some protection
Know all men by these presents
It’s the price you pay for the gift of life

Once I hired a lawyer who hired a private eye
who hired another lawyer to protect him from malpractice
and together they followed my whereabouts in this bleeding little town
and the final bill came to a dollar sign as big as the White House
And then the doctor said I should be going to bed a little earlier each night
So I can save my money to pay his bill instead of spending it on my girl
who currently is suing me for some kind of child support
even though her kids are not my kids, there the sons of doctors and lawyers
And the private eye, well he screwed me too
He said, do you recognize these photographs
–They were black and white and I was turning red–
She’s the girl you met at the public bath
–I remember now where I got that rash–
Well she’s my sister too and she said you might interested in some film
for a special price you get a discount BJ and copy of the video
Know all men by these presents
It’s the price you pay for the gift of life

© 1987, Stringing Along the Dreamline

 

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